Weird Week in Football: Diego's throne, booted beers and poppies in poor taste

Every Tuesday, BetaSoccer highlights the most outlandish moments from the wacky, sometimes daft, and perennially entertaining world of football. Here’s what made us smile – or cringe – on the pitch this past week.

Down in front with Diego

Diego Maradona had just a cup of tea – presumably among other things – with Newell’s Old Boys in 1993 following a Serie A drug suspension. That didn’t stop the club from gifting the Argentinian deity a comfy touchline throne when the current Gimnasia boss was in town last Tuesday. Wow, he looks great!

Drake dupes Defoe

Jermain Defoe’s shock move to Toronto FC in 2014 proved to be more of a Bloody Big Bust than a Bloody Big Deal. Apparently, Defoe wasn’t the only one who failed to meet expectations. Drake, if you’re reading this, it’s too late.

Touchdown: Nouhou nails the pint after

Los Angeles FC supporters in attendance for Tuesday’s Western Conference final in the City of Angels were brewing when the Seattle Sounders came from behind to bounce the record-setters 3-1.

As beers rained from above like pigeon poo plopping in Ashley Young’s yap, plucky Sounders defender Nouhou Tolo put his boot through a can of Dos Equis. Stay classy, LAFC fans.

Honda back on the market, again

Japanese legend Keisuke Honda has made the Weird Week for the third time. First, he asked Manchester United for a job on Twitter. Then, he coached Cambodia to a 14-0 defeat against Iran.

Now, the forward is off to Dutch side Vitesse Arnhem for first-team training, all the while taking to Twitter to remind former side AC Milan that he’d be chuffed to return to the San Siro. Honda for sale. Lots of mileage. No title.

Kolarov tips Zenit’s pitches

Set-piece savant Aleksandar Kolarov shared his tactical savvy with Zenit St. Petersburg teammate/Bond villain Yuri Zhirkov. The problem was that the Serbia international also shared it with the rest of those in attendance.

Fenerbahce’s Nutcracker Prince

Wouldn’t be a Weird Week in Football without an example of confounding work from ‘keepers. Somehow, Fenerbahce’s Atlay Bayindir escaped punishment for giving his opponent from Kayserispor the Frank Dux dong treatment.

Yaya kicks-off retirement with boot in the ass

Yaya Toure’s football swan song lasted all of 10 seconds after the 36-year-old Qingdao Huanghai midfielder saw red for intentionally booting an opponent from Nantong Zhiyun in the caboose, which can be seen below in sparkling 4K.

Acrobatic Alberto goes ass over tea kettle

On the topic of former Premier League players you’ve likely forgotten about, ex-Liverpool catastrophe is doing his thing for Villarreal. Textbook clearance.

Spoiler alert in the seventh tier

If you’re not caught up on the latest season of “The Great British Bake Off”, tough luck. David pipped Alice and Steph to the line despite not capturing the Star Baker nod. – Colin from Whitby Town FC.

Poppies in poor taste?

English football commemorated Remembrance Weekend with poppies on shirts and pre-match moments of silence, but Arsenal took the cake with a curious dessert choice during Saturday’s draw with Wolves.

Where’s the lie?

While the press dined on the memories of heroes past, Wolves fans took a bite out of Arsenal’s home support in the wake of Granit Xhaka’s spirited cries of “F— Off!” upon his controversial exit a week ago versus Palace.

Death to VAR

Just like Nordin Amrabat declared at the 2018 World Cup, “VAR is Bulls–t.” We are all Monaco’s Ruben Aguilar.

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