Hiatus Diaries: Dog days of isolation, Milner's leisurely landscaping

With a global pandemic suspending sporting events worldwide, footballers suddenly have heaps of time on their hands. In the first installment of a new weekly series, we look at how they’ve been keeping themselves entertained while self-isolating.

Ballers boot bowel towels

Panic has prompted people to flock to grocery stores and stock up on toilet paper. Naturally, footballers responded with the now-viral #StayAtHomeChallenge, in which they juggle a roll of in-demand TP.

Chelsea youngster Mason Mount struck a powerful volley in his laundry bin.

Brazilian tough tackler Felipe Melo stayed on brand and went two-footed.

Chelsea legend John Terry booted a roll into a replica Champions League trophy while the anthem played. Terry’s self-defecating caption is a nod to his costume change before the UCL celebrations.

“Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?” Friedrich Nietzsche said. Apparently not. It’s shame that the German philosopher didn’t live to see the effects of a widespread work stoppage on professional footballers and their posts on social media.

Liverpool’s landscaping legend

James Milner is widely teased for being boring, and the Liverpool man is happy to satisfy expectations. Here, we see Milner’s painstaking effort to cut the grass. Perhaps he thought John Terry was slithering about.

Richarlison’s follicle fail

Speaking of trims, Everton forward Richarlison either ran over his barber’s cat or really likes Brazilian legend Ronaldo. Something tells us it’s the latter.

Silva’s kids weighing him down

Manchester City’s David Silva was one of the countless footballers to post videos of their home workout routines, and the midfield maestro made the most of what he has to work with: children.

The dog days of self-isolation

Chelsea women’s defender Maria Thorisdottir proved children aren’t the only obstacles involved with training in isolation.

Juventus winger Douglas Costa, meanwhile, appears to have solved the canine conundrum.

Llorente sweeps his lady off her feet

Atletico Madrid midfielder and Liverpool dream-crusher Marcos Llorente discovered how to keep his missus busy during the hiatus.

All in the family for Barcelona’s Braithwaite

OK, this is really cute. No need for any paternity tests at the Braithwaite residence.

Ronaldinho’s protein-rich penitentiary provisions

Ronaldinho is in a Paraguayan prison for a faux passport ploy that resulted in a different kind of lockdown, and the toothy Brazilian legend enjoyed his 40th birthday in style.

CPL side goes the whole 9 yards

Canadian Premier League side York9’s Twitter account got in on the hysteria surrounding Tom Brady’s departure from the New England Patriots. I hope he saw this. Spoiler alert: He didn’t. Nobody did.

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